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  • Writer's pictureSasha Michelle

Stuck in the Habit of Comparing

Updated: Nov 18, 2023

Everyone does it, but to what extent matters greatly. When we compare ourselves to others we are essentially questioning how we measure up. While this is natural to some degree and can be used as a healthy source of motivation, it often leads to feelings of inadequacy and low self esteem. When you see something you admire in someone else, pause and pay attention to where your thoughts go. What are you feeling?

It is seemingly impossible to discuss comparisons without addressing social media. Social media has many benefits but often people scroll mindlessly, allowing their thoughts to run free without awareness or control. Open the floodgates…

Social media often promotes perfectionism which is unattainable and can leave you feeling exhausted and defeated (more on this to come). Comparison is rooted in self- evaluation which is an innate drive in humans. In fact it was critical for our ancestors survival. All of this being said, my purpose is to highlight that comparison is completely normal but a focus on comparing can lead to unhealthy thoughts and draining emotions. There are ways to shift from over-comparing to reflecting which will help increase self-awareness and promote renewing emotions instead.

Some questions that can help guide your reflection:

-what is the admirable quality that you are recognizing in the other person?

-what makes this quality admirable?

-does it align with your goals and values?

-if you can have what you are yearning for, what will be different in your life?

-how much control do you have in attaining this quality?

“A flower does not compete with the flower next to it. It just blooms”

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