Perfectionism can have many negative effects on your mental health. Often people overlook perfectionism in themselves because their focus on achievement has always been praised. Or sometimes, it simply feels like there is no other way. I often hear, “being hard on myself is the only way I can get things done”
If you find yourself being critical of yourself and others, unable to take a compliment, and frequently procrastinating you may have unrealistic expectations.
If you find yourself reaching a goal, allowing little to no time to take in the accomplishment before moving onto another goal, you may have perfectionistic tendencies.
Lastly, if all or most of your self worth is tied to external achievements, it may be time to rethink the way you’re doing things.
It’s inevitable that these habits will lead to burnout and other mental health struggles. To be human is to make mistakes. It’s actually a wonderful way to learn and grow. Increasing your awareness of your perfectionistic tendencies, will create some space to rethink the way you’re viewing things.
Journaling is a helpful way of gaining insight. Once areas of perfectionism are identified, practice self compassion and non judgment. It’s likely that your perfectionism showed up to serve you in some way, at some point. Recognizing now that it no longer is working for you, allows you the freedom to let it go.
Lastly, explore ways of having your need met in healthier ways and challenge your black and white thinking. For instance, if your perfectionism is rooted in a fear of disapproval from others, what’s the worst part of someone not liking you? Is it even possible to get through life authentically and have everyone approve of all of your choices? There are several other reasons that people fall into a perfectionism trap. If you recognize this in yourself, reach out for support from trusted family and friends, or seek the support of a professional therapist.
To end with a quote from one of my favorites, Brene Brown:
“Perfectionism is a twenty-ton shield that we lug around, thinking it will protect us, when in fact it’s really the thing that’s preventing us from taking flight”
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